kuch thodi si main

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Patiala, punjab, India
Kahte hain naam me kya rakha hai..par ye naam meri pahchaan hai mere sapno ki udaan hai.. sapne dekhna accha lagta hai mujhe..har din har pal,jiwan ki buniyad pe amit chhap chodne ki hasrat hai meri,ek aisi buniyad jahan sab meri sharton pe ho..jahan mere sapne ho aur un sapno me main houn. ye meri soch hai jispe aajtak apni kalpana ki udaan ko haqeekat ki shakl deti rahi hoon..

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Khud ki talaash me...


Main koi lekhika nahi hun, ho bhi nahi sakti kyunki lekhak to pata nahi kha-kha se soch ki gehraiyon me jakar vicharon ko kagaz par utarte hain. Unki soch ki jadein jitni gehri hoti hain vicharon ka ped utna hi bada hota hai. Main aisi nahi hun. Kabhi likhne baithi bhi to bas wahi jo zindagi se seekha. Har roz kuch naya. Aisa bhi nahi hai ki jo ek bar likh diya wo meri soch hi hai. Nahi… badalte dino ke anubhaw ke sath likha hua aur samjha hua badal bhi sakta hai. Ho sakta hai aaj jo likh rahi hun aur aaj jiska favour kiya hai kal wahi mujhe galat lage. Ya phir zindagi me tab kuch aisa ho jaye ki kal sochi hui sahi baat aaj galat lage aur aaj sochi hui kuch galat baat ane wale kal me sahi. Sach kahun to is bare me apna bharosa nahi kar sakti main kyunki mujhe nahi pata aage mere sath kya hoga. Kaise log milenge. Mera manana hai ki hamari soch aksar waisi hoti hai jaise logon ke beech ham rehte hain, hamara jaisa mahol hota hai. Kal mahol badla log badle to shayad soch bhi badal jaye. Doosre shabdon me kahun to shayad yahi experience hai jise zindagi kehte hain.
Meri baatein bas mere bare me hain. Sirf mera evaluation. Kal peeche mudkar jab dekhun khud ko to meri soch aur mere aaj aur kal ka antar samajh sakun. Apni hi khoj me hun mai. Aur mera likhna hai meri khud ki talaash me…

Bol roshni karte hain


Aaj bina kuch bole apne sath ghante bhar se jyada samay bitaya, to ehsaas hua ki jo bolte nhi wo dikhai bhi nhi dete. Bahot zaroori hai bolna. Bahot zaroori hai apne hone ka ehsaas karna aur karana. Jo nahi bolta uske wajood ko hi agar nakar diya jaye to use hairani nhi honi chahiye. Kewal dikhna kafi nahi hai, apni maujudagi darz karani parti hai.
Waise hairani to ye soch kar bhi hai mujhe ki apna hona batana bhi parta hai.. par sach to sach hai. Ankhein band kar behoshi ki halat me aap bas apne aap ko jaan sakte hai,par apne jo socha kyun socha kisi ko bata nahi sakte.. uske liye sabdon ki zaroorat parti hai..nhi to apke sochne ka koi fayeda nhi.. apne ehsaason ko daba kar jeene wale shayd ye bhool jate hain ki jaagne k liye liye kisi ki awaz ki hi zaroorat parti hai. Aur bina bole aknkhein band kiye rehna sone jaisa hi hai.
Shabd nahi hain tabhi to ped jaisi mahatwapurna chhezein bhi log katate jate hai. Jante hain ki pedo ko nhi balki hame pedon ki zaroorat hai,phir bhi hichkichate nhi,bade sukoon ke sath atyachar karte hain unpar aur uff tak nhi karte. Wajah sirf ek hai ki ped hame ehsaas nhi kara sakte bolkar ki hamne unke sath kya kiya. Pahadon ko dekh lo chahe kitne hi majboot hon..par bol nhi skate to kitne pahado ko dhool m mila chukka insaan. Kahan hai un pahadon aur pedon ka astitva.
Apne astitva ki pehchan jab ham khud nahi kara sakte to kaun ayega hamare liye. Har shabd ke apne mayene hain. Bolna bhi zaroori hai par sirf bolna nahi. harkat bhi to honi chahiye  shabdon me. Dam hona chahiye apne shabdon ko haqeeqt me badalne ka.
Kitni ajeeb sachai hai,Saye ka kad bhi insaan ke barabar hota hai,par uska wajood koi nhi. Bol jo nhi sakta. Shor ka wajood hai,usse logo ko fark parta hai.par saye ki koi keemat nahi. Ham insaan hain jaanwar nahi, jinke paas awaaz to hai par bhasha nhi. Phir jab bhagwan ne hame ye nemat bakhsi hai to uska upyog kyun nhi?
Khamoshiyan isiliye simat jati hai. Use suntan hi kaun hai…?? Aur agar ham sun sakte hain to suna kyun nhi sakte? Hame kyun haq nahi apne dil ki awaaz ko shabdo ka roop dene ka??

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Tum jo mere ho


Lamba waqt ho gaya hai tumhe dekhe. Aaj tumhari saari purani tasveerein dekhi hai. Kuch khwab purane phir se yad kiye. Kuch beete lamhon ki baatein sochi hain. 

Jaane kaisi khushboo hai jo mere jehan me utari hai tumhe sochte hue.  Aajtak samajh nahi pati mai kyun hota hai aisa mere sath. Ye zindagi shayad kam hai itne sari cheezon ke liye. Mujhe ek aur zindagi chahiye jise sirf tumhare sath bita sakun. Suruaat se ant tak jahan sirf tum aur mai rahun. Tumhe har waqt sirf apne paas rakh sakun. Ek zindagi aur… jisse mai dekh sakun ki sham ke waqt suraj kaise doobta hai... Kaise bade bade pahadon pe jab barf girti hai to wo uski aagosh me so jata hai. Ek aur zindagi jisme tum aur mai jab sath chai pee rahe ho to mai tumhari chai ka cup cheen kar pee sakun. Tumhari stupid har baat pe tumhe ek thapki maar kar chup kara sakun.har roj tumhe bina kisi baat ke chida sakun. 

Jaanti hun… namumkin hai par chahiye mujhe…ek aur zindagi…jisme mai sirf tumhari dost reh sakun aur tum jo mere ho sirf mere reh sako.

Monday, 21 May 2012

Umeed se saze zindagi



Umeed ke band lifafe mein
Ek tim timata sapna hai
Badal ki pichkari lekar
Chand sitaarey rangna hai
Aasman ki is kitab par
Naam bus apna likna hai


Kitna kuch dikha aur sikha deti hai zindagi? Kabhi haar, kabhi jeet; kabhi  sapne, kabhi haqeeqat; kuch talkh se lamhat to kuch hadsey aur sadmat; kahin man me simti veerani,kahin berukhi aur bechaini. Kuch lame barbaad ho jate hain aur kuch lamhe yaadgaar ho jate hain. Kabhi kuch pal sapne bunane me nikal gaye aur kabhi kuch pal bas yunhi baton me beet gaye.
Wahi ugta hua din wahi beetati  hui raat. Par har din ke sath umeedon  ki  jagmagati roshni mayusiyon ke andheron ko katkar ek naya savera karti hai. Har roj dua me uthe hath inhi umeedon ki timtimati roshni hi to hai. Ek aas hai ki ‘rab’ hai. Ye rab bhi to umeed hi hai. Ek shayar ki likhi panktiyan padhi thi kahin…

Ghar se yeh soch k nikla hon k Mar jana hai
Ab koi Raah dikha de k kidhar jana hai
Jism se sath nibhane ki mat umeed rakho
Is musafir ko to Rastay mein theher jana hai


Har ane wala pal ek umeed hai. Kahin khwabon ko sach karne ki umeed to kahin sabko khush rakhne ki umeed. Kahin umeed ki koi hamse gila na kare to kahin ye ki koi to apna hua kare. Kabhi manchaha ho jane ki umeed to kabhi manga hua mil jane ki. In sabse hi to zindagi khoobsurat hai aur jiska ehsaas itna khoobsurat hai wo apne aap me kitna khoobsurat ho sakta hai. Tabhi to

Ho yunki kabhi
Khushiyan rooth jayein
Ho yunki kabhi
Apno ka sath choot jaye
Kabhi palke jo bheege teri
Bas ek aas man me jaga lena
Jo sath me hai wo apna hai
Jo choot gaya wo sapna hai
Poora ho iski umeed to ho
Tere pas koi aisi cheez to ho
Ashayein ho rang-birangi
Indra-dhanush si satrangi
Koi hath mile to chal niklo
Nhi to sath milne ki
Umeed se sajalo zindagi

Maine dekha tha sapno me



Maine dekha tha sapno me… asman se rangon ko mere angan me utarte…  pholon ke chehre me taaron ko dharti par haste… gudde-gudiyon ke khelon me khud ko gudiya si sajte… aaj jane kyun phir se dil krta hai… un sapno me kho jane ka… rang- birangi wahi chunri odhe… phir befikr so jane ka… itna mushkil kyun hota hai… sapno ko apna banana… bachpan ke masoom sapno se zindagi churana… kitna socha par samajh na payi…kyun chute bachpan ke sathi…  sathi to shayad mil jayenge… par  dil jo toote jod de koi… rang-birange sapne mere… mjhko wapas mod de koi… kyun chute wo mehal-jharokhe… jinse zindagi ne jhankna seekha… kaha gayi wo galiyan-dware… jinse deg naapna seekha…  jane kyun aaj dil karta hai... sunun phir se pariyon ki kahani… maa ki god ho aur aakar sulaye mujhe nindiya  rani…

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Moving on the way of puzzled desires...

Two roads diverged
And i m at a fixed

Which has to be chosen
How can i predict
whatever the situation
I have to verdict

sometimes i am lost
sometimes feeling exhaust
I will not move backward
coz my desti is calling me forward

I am thinking of a phrase
that is giving me the ease

Errors like straws upon
the surface flow
One who is in the search of truth
must dive below

Now i have analysed my mistakes
And prepared for the next

Still two road diverged
And i am at a fixed
But i will choose the best That will decide the rest

Monday, 14 March 2011

Aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalun....


                                                  Aa chal ke tujhe 
                                        main leke chalun
                                        ek aise gagan ke tale
                                        jahan ghum bhi na ho
                                       aansoon bhi na ho
                                       bas pyar hi pyar pale
                                       ek aise gagan ke tale

I was just humming this song by Kishore.. and remembering ma past remebrances .....
When I was a little gal.. every night my mumma tucked me into bed and used to narrate a bed-time story.. stories of princess,angels.. sumtimes they were related to birds, animals and ghosts too... mumma says.. I alwys used to listen them so eagerly.. and used to ask "mumma ye pariyan kaha rahti hain"..  like all the mumma's stories.. characters were used to live in "happy places"... aur wo bhi mujhe yahi kahti thi.. ki ankhein band kar lo.. and u would found that happy place..  
Dint know when did  I fell asleep to see the "Happy places"... unknown to this fact that these happy places wud come in ma dreams or not.. :) 
As I grew a bit older and that bed-time stories were lost in those days.. now papa always used to play a song in his tape recorder...
         aa chal ke tujhe, main leke chalun, ek aise gagan ke tale..

When was lisetning that song ,I always felt a happiness and pecefulness around me... 
Thodi aur badi hui to its all too came to an end.. coz now i used to sing this song.. and ma 2 lil cutipies always got irritated that " kya di ye song gati rahti ho" .. they were and they are unknown "hw much happiness and peacefulness I feel when I sing this"
Pata ho bhi kaise.. for them it was just a song.. and for meeh.. it was the way to went to "happy places".. 
Par ye happy places tak jane ka silsila bhi jyada nhi chala...
We get older and our dreams became changed.. our wants replaces these happy places.. thoda aur clear kar deti hun.. prince replaces d princess :).. Feelings umar ke sath kaise badal jati hai na..
but still the places are same.. d happy places... and the song is same too..
       aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalun, ek aise gagan ke tale...

While writing this blog.. here is a deep feeling of happiness and peace inside mee.. today I know that happiness lies within us.. agar nhi dekhoge to, they become invisible.
Everyone can go to that happy place,if anything is needed then is just that eyes who can see them... a soul who can feel them..

I dedicate this blog to ma two lil angels.. that they cud understand how much this song mean to mee...
I wish them all the happy moments and happy places in there lives...
I wish life might have an edit button dat I cud edit ma dreams of happy places again..
I wish life might have a rewind button too that I cud listen those bed-time stories of princess and angels.. 
Now I m gonna stop the writing but I'm humming yet...
      aa chal ke tujhe, main leke chalun, ek aise gagan ke tale...

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